


We'll get through this, kiddo

by mooses_unicorn



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-24
Updated: 2016-02-24
Packaged: 2018-05-22 22:35:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6096181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mooses_unicorn/pseuds/mooses_unicorn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Struggling with the realisation that Lucifer is possessing Cas, Sam reaches out to Jody for help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We'll get through this, kiddo

Sam slowly and stiffly sat down on the edge of his bed, a faint ringing in his ears, his breath fast and shallow; he was in shock. _Lucifer is free. Cas is gone_. These words pounded again and again at the edges of his mind. He looked down at his hands and saw they were shaking. His entire body felt numb, unreal almost, as if he were somehow becoming less substantial.

His worst nightmare had come true, Lucifer had escaped the Cage and not only that, he had taken Cas, the one person other than Dean that Sam could truly trust. That betrayal was the most painful. Even worse, it had been weeks and Sam hadn’t even noticed. He hadn’t noticed that his best friend was trapped inside his own body, crying out for help. Sure, Cas had seemed a little off recently, but they’d all been through a lot, he’d just assumed it was the life taking its toll as it inevitably does. How could he have been so blind? So _selfish_? And to compound the whole situation, he’d allowed Lucifer to reach inside him, the one thing he swore he’d never happen again. He’d buried those memories, but now they were all flooding back. Despite the numbness, Sam still felt sore all over after his soulonoscopy, like the after-image from looking into a bright light.

Violated. That was the only word Sam could think of to describe what he felt. His skin was crawling and he felt like he wanted to claw his way out of his own body, anything to be free of this fleshy prison, polluted and rank with defilement.

Sam glanced around the room, seeing it properly for the first time since he’d entered, searching for something, anything to distract him. It was at that moment that he realised he needed to get out, that the Bunker felt tainted, no longer the safe haven it had been. Sam took his phone out of his pocket and began scrolling through his contacts, looking for someone he could go to. As he scrolled past “Cas” his breath caught and he felt his heart leap against his ribcage. He continued scrolling, not knowing what else to do. Jody. He stopped scrolling, staring at her name and phone number while he thought. Could he call her? If he asked her for help she would give it without a second thought, there was no doubt about that. But could he really do it? She had enough on her plate looking after Alex and Claire as well as a full time job as Sheriff, could really ask her to care of a broken hunter too? Fuck it, he thought. I’m no good to Dean in this state, I need help. He pressed the green call button.

Sam’s heart was in his mouth as he listened to the dial tone; even now, more than a decade since he’d been under John’s rule, he felt guilty as hell even asking for help.

“Hi Sam, how ya doin’?” Jody’s voice sounded through the speaker.

“I… um, I don’t…” Sam stuttered as his eyes began to fill with tears.

“Sam? What’s wrong?” Jody asked, her voice full of concern.

“I… um… things have r… really gone to hell and… and I… I could really use a… a break, y’know?” Sam managed to get out.

“Okay, sure. Do you wanna come stay with me for a few days?"

“I don’t want to be any trouble.”

“Sam,” Jody put on her mom-voice. “It’s no trouble at all, I’ve got plenty of room here and you clearly need some help or else you wouldn’t have called me. So get your butt over here and let me take care of you, ‘kay?”

“Yes m’am,” Sam chuckled despite himself. “And _thank you_ , Jody. It means a lot.”

Jody went back to sounding sympathetic, “Hey, I’m sorry things are shit right now, kiddo, but you just get yourself here and we’ll talk things through. Take the time you need to get your head back in the game and whatever it is, we’ll figure it out.”

“Thanks Jody.”

“You’re welcome. See you in a few hours.”

She hung up and Sam stayed staring at his phone for a few seconds before pocketing it, feeling the tiniest glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, things would be ok.

Sam crossed to the other side of the room and picked up the bag he always kept packed ready for a hunt, and headed out to the library. He took his laptop off the table where he’d left it and slid it into his bag. He was about to get going when he thought he should probably leave Dean a note so he wouldn’t freak out. Sam looked around and saw a notebook on the map table. He crossed over to it, tore a page and scribbled a quick note:

Need a couple of days after everything with Cas. Going to stay with Jody. Call if you need anything.

Satisfied that at least his brother wouldn’t freak when he discovered Sam’s absence (hoping Dean wouldn’t worry was too much to hope for) Sam turned and made his way down to the garage, although he couldn’t help but shudder as his eyes were drawn to the spot where Lucifer had used Cas’ meat suit to pin him up against the wall. He was glad to be leaving.


End file.
